What makes a person furious? Well, there are several reasons why people feel angry. We feel angry when someone steals from us. We feel angry when someone betrays us. We feel angry when things are not going the way we want it to. People feel angry when their well-being is threatened – whether it’s your physical, emotional and financial well being. Psychologists say that it’s normal to feel furious. Sometimes, being angry has its perks too. For example, if you are furious, it can encourage people to act against injustice.
Why do we get angry?
Some people get angry even at the smallest things and blow things out of proportion. Well, we’ve all felt agitated at certain times – whether it’s a fleeting annoyance towards a certain person or full pledged rage because the situation seems to get out of your control. However, people differ when it comes to their way of expressing anger. In most cases, men tend to become aggressive, women become emotional and younger people tend to be rebellious.
So, why do people get angry?
We get angry as a reaction to perceived threat to us, a loved one and to the things that are special to us. When we are angry, we realize that there is something wrong and it needs to be addressed.
Is anger bad or good?
If you are furious at someone or something, do not worry about it because it is a normal, human feeling. It is a healthy human emotion that everybody is expected to feel at one point or another. If you are asking if feeling angry is bad or good, the answer to this question relies mainly on how you manage your anger. If you are agitated and you cannot control it, you are more likely to make poor decisions and can create problems at work and your personal life as well. Do you remember those times when you chose to ignore your spouse because you were too furious with your office mate for losing the files you created over weeks of work? Yes, if you are furious, you tend to hurt those people around you without even noticing it because you are displacing those feelings onto an easy target. Your partner is not going to sack you from work, but your colleague might if you got angry in the workplace.
However, when you are able to control your anger, it can be healthy on your part. It can motivate you to stand up for something that you believe is right, protect your loved ones and correct injustices. Anger, when managed properly, can prompt us to make positive changes in our lives.
Ways to Stay Relaxed Even When You Are Furious
So, how can you manage to control your anger? When you are angry, it might seem impossible to stay relaxed and control your feelings but fortunately, there are things that you can do to help you stay calm when angry.
This is the number one rule. One sign that anger is starting to build up in you is when your breathing becomes rapid. When you are in a stressful situation or when you are angry, your body builds up tension and your heart beats faster than normal. Because you are too angry, you will not notice that you already have irregular breathing. So when angry, do not forget to breath. Breathe deeply, slow your body down. At the first sign of anger, breathe in through your nose and breathe out using your mouth. Do this until you calm yourself and your breathing is back to its normal state. You could possibly forget that you are angry.
- Remove yourself.
If you are too angry that the breathing technique does not help at all, walk away from the situation. Supposing the tension is caused by your co-worker at the meeting room, if possible, excuse yourself and go out. Some people smoke a cigarette to calm their emotions and help them think clearly (not the healthiest coping strategy though). Taking a short walk, have a cup of coffee or anything that will keep you distant for a while. If you cannot keep a physical distance from the situation, remove your emotions. This will prevent you from saying things that you will possibly regret later. Just imagine that you are watching a movie. You are physically present but you don’t have any emotions. If you keep your emotions to yourself, you can have a clearer perspective about the situation.
- It’s nothing personal.
If you are angry because someone is annoying you, hold on for a second. You can evaluate the situation. That person might have problems at work and family and you were just there just when he/she releases his/her frustrations. Remember that anger is always caused by outside influences. You cannot possibly be furious without enough reasons, can you? As the old adage goes, CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES. Don’t take everything personally unless you and the person have been clashing for a while now.
- Think about the good memories
If you think that anger is consuming you, try doing things that can help you relax. If you want to calm down, relaxing along with the breathing technique are very effective. You can consider doing meditation or yoga. Imagining the relaxing experience you had also proves to be of great help in relaxing your mind. Try not to think of anything and close down all the negative thoughts in your mind. This technique can be difficult but once you get used to it, you will notice how beneficial it is mentally, emotionally, and physically.
- Exercise regularly and have a balanced diet
This one is a long term technique in anger management. You don’t need to exercise like you are joining the Olympics or punish yourself with long and hard exercises. Just maintaining your routine walk or jog at the park, or spending 30 minutes at the gym can do wonders to your body. When doing exercise, our body produces a natural hormone called dopamine which lifts our mood naturally and eliminates stress in our body.
If you are furious right now, don’t worry! Getting angry and frustrated is part of being human. But letting angry consume your whole being can be very dangerous too. You shouldn’t stay angry forever. It has to stop sometimes. By doing these aforementioned strategies, managing your anger will seem possible and your confidence will grow.